Make Feeling Good Your Job
Last month, we talked all about being resilient AF. Because here’s the deal. The world will not stop spinning. It goes on. Events in the world and in our lives can be up and down and all over the place. There will be spans of good months, good weeks, then something can come along and knock us off course.
“What the heck? We were doing so good”
At that point, we have the choice to get back up or stay down for however long.
We each get that choice.
If you wanna get back up, refer back to the resilient AF blog post for my how-to tips (and I’d love to hear yours).
But what about the rest of the time? When we’re just walking along our paths? How are you feeling the majority of the time? How’s your life? Is it what you want? Are you enjoying it?
5 years ago, when I was 2 weeks into my first job as a new physical therapist, I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to do for the next 30 years. Not like that anyway. I started immediately taking baby steps towards creating the livelihood I wanted.
5 years later, looking back, I’m proud of where I am today.
Am I exactly where I want to be in life? Not necessarily, because we are constantly growing and evolving. But I am 100% grateful for the present moment and all that is my life in right now. (And here’s the kicker: I am exactly where my 17 year old self saw me though. Same PT clinic and all. Crazy.)
Ultimately, the reason why we want what we do (the family, the marriage, the house, the cars, the dream jobs, the vacations, etc), is because of the feelings we think they will bring us. Love, happiness, peace, security… And when these things don’t deliver those feelings, we feel unfulfilled, stuck wondering where we went wrong.
Another good example: 2020.
We all had an idea of what this year and new decade would bring and a lot of us may feel sorely disappointed. Why? Because the year isn’t bringing the feelings we thought it would.
But the best news is that we get to choose how we feel in every moment, and that doesn’t necessarily depend on external circumstances. We can build emotional momentum to shift how we feel everyday, intentionally creating good days, weeks, months, etc. etc.
When I first learned about this concept from Gala Darling, author of Radical Self-Love (a book I HIGHLY recommend by the way), it made sense and I fiddled with it here and there for the past year, but recently have implemented this principle consistently and it’s knocking my socks off!
So here’s what I learned from Gala: MAKE FEELING GOOD YOUR F*CKING JOB.
Yes. F word is necessary for emphasis. I don’t know if it would have had quite the impact on me if it wasn’t there, so I pass it on, untouched to you, lovingly.
So how would your life look if you made feeling good your job? Where you feeling good was not your kids job, not your partner’s job, not your sister’s/brother’s/mom’s or dad’s job? Not your boss’s job, not your co-worker’s job, not your friend’s job, but yours? What would you have to do to make this happen? Where feeling good was your job, and if anyone else added to your happiness, it’s icing on the cake and the cherries on top?
How would your life feel if you woke up every morning and made feeling good your #1 priority and intention for the day? Are you up for finding out?
Whew! I get excited and goosebumps just thinking about it!
What if I told you that when you make feeling good your job and priority, it increases your love and energy and allows you to show up differently each day, may be even fuller and shinier, for your relationships, yourself, the work you do, and for the world? Would you be willing to try it?
Cool; let’s get into the how-to:
#1 Start the day with gratitude for all you have and for all that is coming
Gratitude shifts your thinking; you can’t be worrying and grateful at the same time, so why not choose to feel good and focus on what’s going well and right in your life and the world?
How to: set a timer for 1 minute and speak out loud and/or write down ALL the things your’re grateful for, from your polished toenails to your senses that allow you to experience the world, to the running water in your home, your warm shower and the time to do this practice. List all the things you can possibly think of and feel goooooood as you list things off, realizing in the process how much you really do have to be grateful for. Yay!
Next, set a timer for another minute and list alllllll the things you want to happen/have in your life, but say them as if they’ve already happened (This is a magical Gala Darling tip!). This helps to train our mind to decrease resistance around our ‘next level desires’ and get comfortable with what we want to create/bring into our lives ie “I’m so grateful we have our vacation home up north because it gives us a peaceful getaway any time we want it, I’m so grateful for the unexpected $500 that showed up today that we get to add to our savings and am so excited our savings continues to grow consistently, and I’m glad that we finally signed up for that grocery delivery service and how much time I get back because of it.”
Some may call it wishful thinking. I call it clarity on what I want for my life. And whether the things happen or not, it feels freaking good and that’s the whole point, to have a tool that helps you to feel sooo. good.
#2 Move your body in a way that feels good
Depending on what’s scheduled in the day ahead, our emotions upon waking can feel elevated (excited!) or not so elevated (worrying/anxious, etc). Either way, moving our bodies first thing in the morning is a great way to move those feelings and energy and get grounded, focusing on what a gift it is to have another day and preparing to enjoy all it has in store for us.
How to: move in a way that feels good! Take a walk, do a home workout, put on some good music and dance, etc. There are no rules here, other than to move your body in a way that feels good.
#3 Feel good by contributing to someone else’s joy
See! And you may have thought making yourself feel good was selfish…no one said that, definitely not point 3.
One of the ways we feel good is when we help others.
But let me be specific and clear. This isn’t about over giving to the point that we find ourselves unnecessarily drained, feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. No, no, no, no, no….I’ve been there and that’s not my jam. If it’s not your jam either, amp up your awareness of when/how giving to others feels good and when it doesn’t, and set boundaries/guidelines accordingly.
How to: Contributing to others can be whatever feels good for you (our theme again!). It could be smiling at someone who needs it, it could be sending your friend some flowers unexpectedly, letting them know how much they mean to you. It could be cooking your family dinner night after night with love and intention, it could be contributing time or money to your favorite nonprofit cause. The choices are infinite and endless and you can choose something new each day, week and month.
#4 End the day with gratitude & forgiveness
Saved this one for last because it’s not only a great way to wrap up the day, but it’s also a game changer.
When I dove into coaching, I started learning a lot about the subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind takes everything personally, so if we are thinking critical or judgmental thoughts towards another person, our subconscious mind takes it personally, thinking that we are saying these things to ourselves. Think about that analogy you’ve probably heard that withholding forgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.
If we take the opportunity each night to forgive events and behavior that was less than ideal during our day, + focusing on gratitude as we did in step 1, we go to bed feeling really good, and this sets the tone for how we sleep, as well as for how we wake up the next day. Win, win, win.
How to: for the forgiveness practice, I recommend the Hawaiian practice of ho'oponopono. If you haven't heard of it, feel free to Google it, as there are a lot of resources and videos on how to do this practice. For the gratitude portion, you can do the same thing that you did first thing in the morning (step 1 above).
With the events happening in the world and all around us and the uncertainty about what will appear in the headlines the next day, I don’t think this is just a cute practice, but think it’s quite imperative in taking care of our entire well being.
When you think about making yourself feel good as your job and priority what comes up? Does a sense of guilt, shame or judgement creep in just thinking about it? If so, why?
My suggestion is to try this with me for the next 30 days and see how you feel. Journal about it and document what happens.
If after 30 days, it does nothing for you, throw it out the window and go back to whatever was working for you before. If this completely overhauls your mindset, energy and life, definitely let me know, so I can celebrate you and send you some air high fives.
Email me hello@jasmineraecoaching.com and let me know how your 30 days went and your favorite part, any insights, celebrations and magical synchronicities.
